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circumcisions:

procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due

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unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

we went upstate and my dog was being a butt and trying to swipe at fish in the lake and she fell in and when we dried her off she was still shivering so i put a sweater on her 
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"People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict."
Lemony Snicket (via likeafieldmouse)